As I approached the Canadian border I was on the phone with my sponsor talking about my progress thus far and my expectations for this trip. We talked about a step in the program I have been working, and how I’ve been stuck but it was necessary to complete in order for me to grow. When our conversation ended my mind was full from thoughts, just because I had been sober for 20 months my mind still obsessed about drinking and a lot of my habits had yet to change. At this point in my life I was finally willing to work the program that this sober fellowship had offered. I was convinced that this trip in itself would give me enough “thinking” and “alone time” to figure out my issues and prepare me for the next phase of my life. This idea proved to be wrong.
During this meeting I shared that I thought I finally could put into words, why I was on this trip- “to learn how to love myself.” I talked about not being sure what the formula is but I have been trying and been unsuccessful at completing these steps and maybe that is what I need to do because all the techniques I’ve tried, including this trip have failed. After the meeting I had two kind ladies, Diane and Sue both offer me a place to say. I ended up crashing in Diane’s airstream she had parked in her front yard. Along with the offers to house me a guy Joe came to me and offered to take me through the steps. Apprehensively I told him I’d think about it and I left to go drop my gear off in Diane’s airstream. Later that night I met up with Joe and I realized how many different things had to fall into place in order for me to meet Joe and for him to offer to help me out. So I became willing to hang around Haines for a bit and work the steps with him.